Author Archives: Hollowdoll
Rubber Ducky (You’re the One)
So, Sam’ll tell you it started with Dean being a dumbass, because most things start with Dean being a dumbass. That or they start with Dean being a smartass, but that’s more rare than Sam will have you believe.
Things usually end with Dean being a dumbass, too, just a slightly smarter dumbass; sometimes they even end with Dean being a smartass. Sam sulks, then.
But the truth? Well. The truth that Sam doesn’t want to tell you is that this time, it started and ending with Sam being the biggest fucking moron ever to walk the face of the planet.
Because the thing about enchanted forests is that if you’re walking in them, you’re not supposed to stop to inspect the flora, because it’s an enchanted forest and the flora are probably magical and really fucking dangerous. Dangerous enough to, say, reach out and grab you right before your brother shoots it, which makes the plant wither and die, but not before it zaps your brother with bight purple light, turning him into something that very closely resembles. Well.
“Rubber ducky, you’re the one?” Sam says, staring at the bright red rubber duck currently lying on the grass. Dean’s clothes are neatly folded a few feet away, his gun on top of them.
The duck narrows its (his?) eyes. “If you say one more word,” he says in a high, literally squeaky voice—Sam thinks he might be vocalizing by squeaking air out somehow, which is fascinating—
“Sam! Stop fuckin’ analyzing me and focus!”
“Uh,” Sam says, and drags his attention away from, well, rubber duck. “Sorry.”
“Right, whatever. Like I was saying, you try to make fun of me again, I will kill you. Deader than dead.”
“Can you?” Sam says without thinking, which, wow. Bad habit, right there, because now Dean’s hopping towards him and.
“I will fucking rip the skin off your bones!”
Okay. Rubber-ducky-Dean has teeth. Good to know. “Let go!” he squawks, shaking his arm, but Dean won’t be deterred. Sam’s regretting more than ever that he’s only wearing a thin t-shirt, because Dean’s teeth are sunk into his skin and they hurt. “You freak, you’re gonna cut me wide open!”
Dean finally spits Sam’s arm out, falling to the ground. “Then maybe—“ he yells, bouncing squeak-SQUEAK-squeak across the ground, “You shouldn’t—“ SQUEAK “—have made fun—of me!”
“Oh, come on,” Sam says, standing up and brushing himself off before moving far enough away that it’d take awhile for Dean to bounce-attack him. “Like you wouldn’t make fun of me if I was a rubber du—“
“Don’t even say it.” And once again Dean’s livid, bouncing in place. “Seriously, Sam, I’m gonna rip you apart when I’m human again. You’re going to wish you’d never been born.”
“You’re really pretty pissed,” Sam says.
“No fucking shit, Sherlock. I’m gonna tear the intestines from your body and feed them to you. I’ll take your skin off with a vegetable peeler.”
“It’s actually really interesting. You don’t usually have this much of a temper.”
“I’ll string you up and cover you in tiny little papercuts and let some dogs chew you up. I’ll stick your hands in piranha-infested fish bowls.”
“I think your personality’s going to be a lot more intense since it’s shoved into such a small body. You’ll probably be really mercurial until we get you switched back.”
“Your eyeballs would be cake to pluck out, and then I’ll shove ’em up your ass. I’ll stick hot needles up under your fingernails. I’ll—dude, check out that butterfly, it’s friggin’ huge!” Squeaking as Dean bounces up and down excitedly. “Sam, are you looking? Look!”
Sam sighs. Oh, yeah: this is going to be all kinds of fun.
#YVRShoots – Supernatural in Gastown
| This series had its genesis when I began photographing Vancouver area location shoots last summer to get over a long post-Olympics funk. Film and TV productions like This Means War, Mission Impossible 4, Fringe and the new AMC series The Killing showcase our city in similar fashion and sometimes put a celebrity actor or two in the frame. |
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